Ep 005: Embracing the Art of a Messy House
In this episode, we dive into what it means to embrace the mess and stop waiting for happiness, you can choose joy NOW! We talk about
setting boundaries with social media
overcoming comparison and competition by choosing to celebrate and champion other women
Jen’s journey with anxiety and how God healed her
the importance of establishing our identity in God’s Word
learning to embrace the messiness of life so we can stop waiting for things to be perfect and start living in the purpose God has for us
Jennifer Kosuda, founder of The Art of a Messy House, is a wife, mom, teacher, author and podcaster. She is a native of New Jersey where she lives with her husband of almost 14 years and their three children and puppy.
As a public school teacher since 2006, Jen has a passion for inspiring youth to walk in their God-given giftings. After decades of battling anxiety of different forms, by God’s grace, she overcame it. It was at that moment that she promised to never stop sharing about God’s goodness and Truth, giving Him all the glory.
The Art of a Messy House books, blog and podcast is her journey to do that because... life is beautiful but it can get messy too. Still, God turns messes into messages and tests into testimonies, and that is the heart of The Art of a Messy House. It is where others will find stories of humility, kindness, Truth and love as we walk in faith together through the everyday, relatable moments.
Her mission is to empower and motivate families to fight with faith and grow spiritually by teaching Biblical principles. Looking back, Jen wishes God’s Word had filled her mind more than the worries. However, her wish has now become her work as her mission has become to teach people of all ages that they are loved, they are known, and they were created beautifully, on and for purpose. Her passion is to empower others to walk in that beautifully distinct and God-given purpose right here right now.
Jen’s other passions are teaching, writing, and health & wellness. Right now, books 1-5 in the children’s part of the book series are out and season 1 of the podcast launched in March 2023. For more testimonies as well as Christian devotionals and encouragement, visit Jen’s website www.theartofamessyhouse and follow along on Instagram @theartofamessyhouse
Connect with Jen
Jen is an incredible encourager; connect with her online platforms here:
More Resources
Health and Wellness Coaching
Daniel Fast Journey Info
Show Transcript
Please note, the following transcript is AI-generated and therefore may contain grammar, formatting, and spelling errors.
005 Jen Kosuda - Embracing the Art of a Messy House
She basically was like, is she gonna get better? And he was like, most people will relapse several times in their life.
And they just learn. They don't get cured from it. They just learn to live with it. And I remember in that moment, like. I'm not most people. This was like, this was not, this was like the, the fire inside of me. Like, you're gonna tell me I'm not gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. Like, that's just like something that's been in me since I was little.
Welcome to the Wholly Well Journey podcast. I'm your host, Stephanie Hodges. Join us for weekly faith-based conversations on holistic health to uncover practical tips for how to thrive and apply biblical wisdom to our busy modern lives. From fitness to food to fasting. We're here to discover what it means to have a healthy spirit, soul, and body.
Be sure to subscribe. So you don't miss an episode.
I wanted to introduce you to today's guest Jennifer Kusuda. She's the founder of the art of a messy house and a wife, mom, teacher, author, and podcaster. She's a native of New Jersey where she lives with her husband of almost 14 years and their three children and a puppy. She's been a public school teacher since 2006 and has a passion for inspiring youth to walk in their God given gifts. After decades of battling anxiety of different form by God's grace, she overcame it.
And it was in that moment that she promised to never stop sharing about God's goodness and truth. Giving him all the glory.
The art of a messy house books, blog and podcast is her journey to do that because life is beautiful, but it can get messy too.
And this podcast, we talk about having healthy boundaries online, what it looks like to be bold and share your faith in a public setting. And we also talk about Jen's battle with anxiety and what that means for your overall mental health and wellbeing. I'm excited for you guys to listen in on today's conversation.
Well welcome everybody. Today I have my friend Jen Kosuda, and the truth is we have never actually met in person. We're online friends. We've just connected through Instagram, and she's somebody that I admire so much, and she just has such a gentle, welcoming, kind presence in everything that she does. And so I'm really excited to hear from her today.
And Jen, can you start by just telling us a little bit about yourself and your current season of life?
Sure. Um, first of all, I would say the same thing about you, so I am a wife, mom of three, pregnant with my fourth. I teach middle school. I. For, this is my 17th year and I actually just came off of maternity leave, so I am coming back. Well, I went back in September and . The Lord has me sharing.
Um, started it off as a blog but then turned into some books and a podcast. And so it's been a season where he is changing a lot. There's, it's definitely like this season of he's working something new, and it's a lot of waving and a lot of patience and a lot of praying and stepping, and so I'm really grateful to be on here and to, I've connected with people like you too.
Well, that's a, definitely a very busy season of life with all the little kids and going through pregnancy. Um, can you tell us a little bit about your experience with fasting as a spiritual discipline? Because that was one of the ways when we got connected, you had shared your story about fasting and also about how that led to you writing your books.
Can you tell us a little more about that?
Sure. So IO openly shared my testimony. Really the short version is for like three decades. I really faced anxiety of all different forms. I remember it being from as early as I can remember, like the age of five. And so there was this moment in my thirties where I. uh, the Lord really set me free from the chains of anxiety.
And so in that moment I was, I was like, Lord, I will do anything for you. I will use anything I have to serve you. And it was really during that time that I started to, well, I had previously, two years prior, started to read the Bible for the first time in my thirties and, spending the mornings with him.
And so in that . I had been writing my whole life. I had been writing, but in that, these messages and these devotions started to pour out of me each morning. So I started to write them and like I had papers all over. I had journals all over. I had like documents and was sharing it with family and friends and I.
I reached the point of trying to get published in all different ways, like some of my poetry and trying to fit these molds of what they wanted me to, what they wanted it to look like. Like in order to . Get into this magazine or into this book, you have to write this way and about this. And I was torn, right?
So I was like, and I was feeling really spread thin and wanting to just write for everything. And so my church, interestingly enough, it was 2017, I believe. Um, my church started doing a fast together. And so . That was really in January and it was the first or three weeks in January, just really encouraging people to do a fast of whatever that looked like for you.
And so that's when I, I did it for those 21 days and I put it all down and I was like, I'm feeling really overwhelmed, Lord. And I just drew near to him and really surrendered the writing to him and saying, you know. This could easily turn into an idol and it also could be really wearing me down. And if you don't want me to, what?
What do you want me to do with it? Basically? the fasting was transformational because I paused everything and just like was still with him and just focused on him and made room for what he was doing. And in that time, we were reading through, the book of Nehemiah.
And that was really, where I started to see that Nehemiah was like that, right? He was building and he was, he had this, this goal and there was so much coming up against him. And it was this concept of building that was really, um, placed on my heart.
And so I started to just write down the prompts during that time that the Holy Spirit was putting on my heart. And, even when it says in, um, . Nehemiah Chapter one, four. I actually looked it up before coming on here 'cause I was like, there was that part where he sat down and he wept for days. He mourned, fasted and prayed.
That made me weep because there was these burdens on my heart for youth and for what I was seeing in schools, for what I was seeing in my own children and what was coming up against them. And I was like. Okay Lord, like what do you want me to do with this burden? And so it was in that drawing near, he really showed me that my focus should be on starting to publish the children's series.
So that was where I first started to put the books out there.
I love that story so much and people, you know, being in the fasting realm, people are always asking me for stories about fasting and sometimes people want like a nice equation like I fasted and God answered my prayer and you know, super neat and tidy. But you really hit on the head that the purpose of fasting is that drawing near to him and spending time with him.
Like that's the first goal. That's the initial goal. And the more you do that, the more peace you're having, the more, that's an answer to prayer in and of itself. But then out of that, he often does give us some pretty specific direction about what we wanna do going forward.
Absolutely. And the really cool part was like, even during that time, he like started to align, like align people in my life that were also giving me messages that I think you were one of them even to be honest, that didn't even really know that they were giving me these messages that were coming from the Lord.
So when drawing near it was like almost my focus was just on him. And it just allowed a lot of the cloudiness, 'cause it was getting cloudy, it was getting like too much and too overwhelming. And he just allowed that all to just be peaceful, like you said.
Yeah. That's so great. And so from there you started publishing your books and growing your online platform. Can you tell us a little bit more about that next step? Did you have like a vision for what you wanted to share online? Or did it kind of, uh, evolve over time? How did that work?
So I think I didn't fully do it the way I would do it if I started over again. Like I think I was so new to it. I just wanted to put the books out there and help get my books seen. And, um, I. You know, I guess I had a vision that when you start to share online or you start to publish a book that you know that the Lord placed on your heart or books that he placed on your heart and these messages that it would be successful, right?
We all like pray that it's going to do whatever the Lord wants it to do, but I think that I was measuring success very differently than . very according to the world. And that was something that through the journey of being online, he has really walked me through. 'cause I guess it's been like five years now.
I was also trying to remember that. And in the beginning it was very fun. And I think that he purposely used it too, even though I got a little messy with it. Um, just like with time-wise and my focus and just things that I spent time doing that . You know, I eventually repented for, 'cause I think that my, I think my priorities got a little messed up for a little bit, which is why it's so important to go back to fasting even because, or surrender it.
Because, , in the beginning I definitely saw that it was dragging me away from my real priorities, you know, my home and stuff like that. but in doing that it was really cool 'cause he kind of like even used it for good, right? So he aligned me with like, wonderful people. Like that's how I met
Few and many other people like on there. And so it's been really a blessing in that sense too. And so now what I've learned is it can easily turn into a stronghold or even an idol to be honest. or, and definitely a distraction. And so, when I was thinking about this question,
the biggest thing he's taught me because now I've learned to place boundaries and, what he is taught me is that we have to be careful not to define success by the world because we're the way the world does. Because when you're doing the work for the Lord and when we're walking, what God has for us.
Our eyes are on him, so it's for our obedience. So in the beginning, I kind of wanted to put everything out there again. And I think when we lean into him and he puts a message on our heart when we put it out there, we don't need to look for, and it's hard, like you don't need to look for like the likes and things like that because he's going to whatever needed to do, he does the rest.
We just do the step, right? And he does all the rest. And so it's more like . That whole idea of success is seen in just being obedient to the Lord and focusing on that because, otherwise we can get sucked into like a bunch of things. 'cause the world will say it's a good message, it's gonna go viral, or it's going to like get all these likes and to focus on your insights.
And I think that that can easily distract us from what we are really doing.
There's so many distractions out there and defining success can be hard because you have so much pressure. There's so many other examples out there. And so defining success can also evolve over time because maybe you start out with success will be when I publish my book or success will be when I reach this milestone and it might be something personal or it could be something for business, but as soon as you reach that thing, Then it's not the, end your success.
It's like, there's always a perpetual need for more, unless you decide. To put up a boundary. And so with as much time as you spend on Instagram and social media, have you worked out what your working definition of success is right now? And what's enough.
So, .first of all, I've learned I need to take 24 hours off each week from it completely.
Like I need to not open it up. I just need to do . Focus time of just being with the Lord. And that's part of my rest. And he's shown me that I need to do that because otherwise it turns too much into what I'm doing and not what he's doing. but also like really when a message comes on my heart, just putting it.
Out there, but it doesn't need to look as pretty as I would normally have spent a long time doing and just like putting the message out there, or delivering the message, or giving the message whether it's on there or even in our own lives, right? So success really starts for me in the morning in seeking the Lord when I wake up and saying, you know, what do you want me to do today?
What do you want me to be today after I thank him for, you know, the day and him and his, you know. And just his love and his mercy and his grace and his everything. But really like sitting with him in the mornings and you know, some days it's just, and it's not just, I don't even like the word, just it's, you know, being a mom and getting the kids to where they need to be.
And that is okay. We don't, I don't need to, it's something he's really taught me, like I don't need to be doing something on there all the time. Right. I think that . Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in if we don't do something the way we're supposed to, right? Or the way the world says we're supposed to, then it's all our hard work's gonna go away.
And that's not the way that the Lord works. He, when he is in it and he's guiding us to do it, he's the one doing the work. We just, when we pray and step and really focus on where he has our priorities, he gets it all done. And I feel like time, time to him is like nothing, right? Like it's so I, I often look at it that way and seeking him in the morning and so I can really.
You know, not, I guess I don't wanna say lower my standards, it's not, but like the seeking of like perfection and just getting it all done when we're not, like you even said before, we're not called to do it all. And just really seeking him for what is a, what we are, what he is calling us to do, or what's a good thing and what's a God thing.
'cause not everything is from him or not. Everything's meant for us in different seasons. Like you also said before.
Yeah. And I think everything you're saying is so applicable to people no matter what they do in life. And even if you're someone that you're not a writer or you don't have an online platform, or you're not big into social media, what you're saying is the same for everyone when they're going either to work, if that's outside the home or if it's in parenting.
If it's nurturing inside the home, um, if it's interacting with the people around you, you still need to take that same step, like you were saying, where you're . Focusing on God first in the morning and not just going out in your own will, in your own way to accomplish more things or get more things done.
And so that rest is really, really important and it's really important to our wellbeing.
No, absolutely. I agree. And it's just like . Y you know, when, when we, when we do that and when we submit to him in doing that and he shows us what to do, right? Like, and so for me, I know that that has been like putting in these boundaries that I didn't have, like going on and chunking time. Like if I am gonna go on social media, like it's chunked as a time.
Like okay, here's my 10 minutes, but if one of my priorities, you know, something comes up where it pulls me from that, that's not, you know, sometimes I think that there's, we place these unrealistic. Goals. And so that's why like it is so important and so like freeing to seek him for what he wants us to be doing.
Yeah. And one thing I would say about your social media that I admire so much is you're so consistent and you're so brave. When I, when I see everything that you post, it's like every time I do get on Instagram, I can rely on the fact that you're you're gonna be there, that you're posting a message, uh, and you're so.
Bold about talking about your faith and talking about who God is to you and what he means for you. And that really inspires me. And I'd just love to hear more about your process, both in being consistent with what you do and also what gives you that boldness.
So I did not start off that way, and I still get sometimes right before a message, although it doesn't happen very often, I. I get nervous and overthink everything. That's just been my life. So it's been very much this once again journey of the Lord showing me these areas where he was working on. And that has been one.
So if there's a message that I go out there, I used to, I think a couple of the lives I did, there was somebody who had reached out to me and she had mentioned, you know, encouraged me, encourage, she encouraged me to do more lives. And I first was like, Hmm, like. I can't do that. Like I can write and I can be prepared, but the Lord was really showing me as some of these, these messages were coming so much where I was like, I don't even know how to get them out there.
Right. So, and when she, this person said this to me, I was like, oh, maybe that's how I get it out there. But I was like, I don't trust that I'm gonna like not get sidetracked, right. Because I, I can go on tangents and that's when, you know, he was really like, when you lean in and let the Holy Spirit guide, you're
It's gonna deliver the message. And so it was more of like learning like not to do it in my own strength. And still I have to, like, I can fumble and all that. And so every time before a message, I, I pray and pray that whatever it is that the Lord wants to do with it, I know that he will do it. And you know, and I also pray, 'cause in the beginning some of the messages that I wasn't even so comfortable sharing, like I know there's been a couple, even on the topic of more, like, more specifically, like drinking and things like that and just sharing parts of my testimony that I had written about, but I have not yet published, and so the Lord has shown me that certain pieces of this memoir are time to share. It was super uncomfortable and so I prayed a lot and I had to, after I posted it, posted it just.
Remove myself from like social media and just realize once again, lean into that the Lord prompted and this is what I have to do. And it's not about my feelings right now, it's about being obedient to him. And so for whatever reason, so my boldness is not coming from me because I'm over here like overthinking it.
Like maybe that's not the right time or maybe, you know, but so that has been a journey that he has been in there. And being consistent. I am a planner, so you know, I will . With the podcast. Actually I plan. I had done so many podcasts, it got a little messy, but he's so good that he even helps with that.
I had so many that I had recorded 'cause I knew it was, I probably would go back to work. So I planned ahead and I had all these extra, like, not extras, but it was just a lot that would last me through this, this season. In that sense, that helped me because then it also got me like to have these organized, like, so now I kind of base each week on the podcast, but when I had all these episodes and I had realized that I should do things differently for season two and slow down a bit, and he really taught me to slow down is why I share a lot about slowing down.
'cause that's been a journey too. But, you know, once again, it's like the surrender, like, I'm gonna surrender my list of podcast episodes. I'm like, Lord, what do you want me to do with this? 'cause now, you know, I feel bad that there's all these, there's people that I had come on and now it's not gonna air for a few months.
And so he helped me with that too. And the, what's really, really cool is something that we, I can never have done is like the way things unfolded is that, you know, even if I recorded back in March, one of them I recorded back in March and like, I think it went out in like September. The message was either needed for me at that time in September.
Like I needed it, I needed the reminder. Or like somebody else reached out and said this was the perfect message. And so, you know, even when we do mess up things, 'cause I think being consistent once again really has a lot to do with submitting it to God and like having him guide our steps and learning to recognize what
We're taught, like the words we're speaking to ourselves, like what we're like. I don't know. The boldness come like, we can be bold in him, but we need to be filled with his words. And so when these other words come in, like, maybe you're not the person meant to give this message, maybe somebody else can speak it better.
It's really like taking those captives, those thoughts captive and giving it to God and being like, you know, I believe you want me to do this. Um, if, if I'm Misstepping just show me. But if not, you know, submitting it to him and having him guide us and. Filling our minds with his words. 'cause he will give us boldness and he will give us wisdom and strength.
And even when we mess up and get, have an overflowing amount of things, he will help us put it in order again. And so he's so good like that to work on all the details.
Yeah. Taking ownership of what's going on in our minds and that internal dialogue is really important. And I know you mentioned Previously about how much, overcoming anxiety has been a part of your journey. And I think that's a really important topic to discuss, especially right now we see more talk about mental health than ever before and self-care.
But at the same time, those numbers that we see for depression and for anxiety and for, uh, mental distress are higher than ever before. And they're at younger and younger ages affecting children. And so what would you say to that, to the person who might be struggling in that area?
So, you know, I think a, first of all, talk to God about it. Honestly. Like telling him exactly what you're feeling, what, what we're feeling. Like, being honest about the emotions. We don't need to hide when we come to him. And, and really listening to what he's guiding us to do. 'cause sometimes like . He finds a beautiful way to speak to all of us, and I think that sometimes, you know, it definitely doesn't look the same way for everyone, and I think that we can overthink it, but when we really, truly lean into what he's saying, he's gonna guide us even if, if it doesn't make sense to us what we need to be doing, like he, you know, we maybe feel prompted to do something that doesn't make sense to how we would feel better or how the anxiety would
go away or we be free and it doesn't make sense or how it's all connected, but we don't need to make it all make sense, like he's the one doing it. So really like lean into him, be honest. Also be mindful of words. I used to, I used to make jokes growing up, like I don't have a middle name, so I would always be like, oh, you know, at first I made up middle names growing up.
'cause I was like, oh, today, this year I'm gonna be Jennifer Melissa. Like, just like I did things like that. But then I made jokes and I'd be like, you know what, . Anxiety's my middle name. You know me. Like I just, it's part of me like it's just, and I was told that, I was told that by so many people, doctors, I was told, you know, when you have anxiety, it's not something you outgrow.
Or, when I had eating disorder and when I was, when I was in my teenage years and I was hospitalized, when I was being released, or even before, I think I was being admitted to a program. At that time I was 15 and the doctor said, most people. And they said it to my, my mom, who was devastated at the time.
And they were like the doctor who did not know me from anything. And I don't blame him. I'm, I know that they, he was wa he was speaking from statistics, but he's like, most people will relapse. She basically was like, is she gonna get better? And he was like, most people will relapse several times in their life.
And they just learn. They don't get cured from it. They just learn to live with it. And I remember in that moment, like. I'm not most people. This was like, this was not, this was like the, the fire inside of me. Like, you're gonna tell me I'm not gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. Like, that's just like something that's been in me since I was little.
I remember then talking to God about that and, and just like, I had a journal and I would write in my journal to God and he, I. I remember just feeling so strongly that I would, that wasn't true, and that could be different. And I think that that's what happens. It doesn't have to be with eating or anxiety, but I think that there's all these things that we hear are just, you know, part of us or we attach to us.
It's like, you know, well, I'm just an anxious person. It's like, no, I'm a person who battles anxiety or I am a person who battled anxiety. And so I think it's really mindful, once again, going back to taking the thoughts captive. And, and learning, reading God's word. 'cause my transformation did not come until I was in His word.
And it didn't just happen. I opened the Bible and I was like, ah. Right. It wasn't like that. It was consistently listening to people around me who were telling me, you should really, someone. My, my father-in-law bought me a Bible. I mean, I had a pastor who would come visit me at the time. 'cause I was going through a really, really
Low Valley, and she would come and she would say, here's a devotional. Like, and there was all these signs. And so I was just like, you know what, I'm just gonna start reading a Bible every day. And I, I was 21, so it was 10 years ago, and it, it was like, I don't know, 3, 2, 2, 3 years I guess, where maybe I was 32, I don't remember.
But, um, it took consistency and just showing up and just, you know, sometimes it was a verse at that time, sometimes it was a page and a devotional some, and then it turned into . Bible studies and then it turned into, you know, like doing Bible plans and eventually turned into this like it was discipline at first and trusting that he was giving me these prompts.
Like you need to be in my word and learning what I say. 'cause if we don't know what God says about us and we don't know truth, we can believe anything as truth. And that's when it becomes our false like lies that we believe, like anxiety is not who I am or who anyone is, that is something we face.
That is so good and it's really true. Those labels can become your identity, and it immediately reminds me of what God did in scripture when he gave people a new name. For their new destiny. You know, it's like Jacob's name meant deceiver, but he was given the name Israel 'cause that's who he was supposed to be.
That's who God had for him to be. And so just being able to recognize, like you were saying, and divide . The lies from the truth and from what God says about you, what God's word says about your future, and I think hope is such an important point when you get into the place where you think, this is just who I am, this is what I'm stuck with.
I can never change. That can be a really dangerous place because you lose hope.
It's so true. I love that. And going back to identity and that's like the beautiful thing, that he has this beautiful, distinct identity for every single one of us. And he calls, he has a name for us. And I love that you said that about the new name. I.
Yeah. Well, one other thing I think is so hard in that area, You talked about overthinking, and that's something that I have such a struggle with and especially anytime I'm doing something new like the podcast, I'm overthinking everything and every detail of it. And it can be really crippling when we start to overthink and try to over control and get overly worried about what other people are gonna think and how it's gonna compare to others.
And that's a little bit unavoidable when you do anything online because everything you put out there is . On access for feedback, for criticism, for comments, for likes or not likes, and that can really get in your head. And so how have you found a way to overcome the pressure of comparison or any competition in, in the word and the things that you're putting out there?
So one of the things was during that time of fasting, that first year of fasting, 'cause now we do it every year with the church, . He had placed the word on my heart and it said it's going to 'cause He, he had given all, like I had, there was all these like prompts I wrote down and things like that.
And then there was this one I didn't understand at the time and it was, it will come by lifting, not competing. And I remember like, okay, like, I don't know what's gonna come, like whatever. I'll just write it. And then that truly became where there was parts of my own life as somebody who played sports until I went to college.
I'm a competitor and I like to put things out there and, um, make it look quote unquote perfect. And he was really, he taught me first of all. I love to encourage people too, but it almost feels like sometimes in this world, it's like, if we don't do what we, if we don't put the book out there, or we don't do whatever it is, then someone else is gonna beat us to that.
and I'm not saying I'm not faulting anyone. That was very much like this competition that I like, grew up with.
Like, you should be the top of your class and things like that. And it was, you know what? Some of the pressure came from myself. And so I had to undo all that. When you recognize and I pray that people will learn that nobody could do what the Lord has told you to do.
Sure, there's people that do similar things, but they're not you and they're not me and they're not, you know, we are all have an individual identity. And so the first area he, and one of the things I love doing, even it's my favorite part of teaching, is encouraging others and seeing the gifts in other people.
And so he had me focus on that. He had me really focused on . You know, encouraging and praising other people. And so if a seed of jealousy or comparison came really acknowledging it, like recognizing it and not denying it, right? Not, we don't need to deny it once again, but really recognizing it. And then I found like years ago, like the best thing to do was to pray for that person and to
Pray that whatever it is that they're doing is blessed and just, you know, pray for blessings. And it really helped me, and this is like in my twenties especially, and, and then in my early thirties, like it helped me like, I don't know, like almost like you sense the seed, you pluck it out right away with praise, like pluck it out with praise and, and praises in God and, and
Blessing somebody else. It just encourages us too. And it helps us in a way, and that's something that sometimes, like I even teach my own kids when they get a little competitive with things or they get jealous, like, why don't I have that? I'm like, you know, focusing on this area of gratitude and what we do have, but also praying for that person and being, you know, and using as a way to rejoice some with somebody.
Right? The Lord, we're supposed to rejoice with each other and, Uh, encourage one another. And so that has helped me. But really what really helped me is, knowing that when we walk in what God has for us and when we stand in the fact, in his truth, once again, knowing his truth, and that we have our own identity.
We can't compete for somebody else's identity, and why would we ever want to do that? And so that's just something I have learned once again by being in his word.
Yeah, that is so, so good. Well, one thing I also wanted to make sure we talked about, and you had mentioned, you know, with your podcast, like things got a little messy. You got so many episodes built up, but the name of your . Books, your book series and your website and your podcast. It's the Art of a Messy House, and I love that.
And can you tell us a little bit more about that title and the vision and meaning behind it?
Absolutely. It actually, the name came to me during a time of fasting and um, actually it was really about this like moment and this discovery, this realization I had when I had been this seeking for perfection for most of my life. And then . Not being happy. So like putting my happiness, basing my happiness based on certain things or putting pressure on maybe even other people to make me happy or to do this right and like, or that my achievements, like I, it was gonna be from something I could achieve and not something I could receive.
And that's like really where the Lord like woke up my eyes with that too. But, so it really had this moment of . I can't make my house look perfect. You know, , like, I would love to shoot like a reel or like do something that made it seem like my house looked like perfect, but my house is, is messy. Some, you know, like there are toys, like having a nine, a seven and a 1-year-old.
There are toys like our dining room table. I, I will clear it off, but then somehow everything comes back on it and it was really learning that I didn't have to wait. We, no one needs to wait for happiness to be happy. It's more, it's a choice. And the joy is, once again, back to Nehemiah, like the joy of the Lord is our strength.
And so our joy comes from God. It is found in God and it's not going to come from having a clean house or, or we have to wait until something looks perfect to start the podcast. Like I remember, like, you know, maybe I should be a better speaker before I start the podcast. And it's like, . Oh no. It can be a little messy, like God uses those messes and honestly, it's more relatable to not have something that seems so perfect and
That's what I know that I needed a long time ago, and I still relate to people that I feel like we can laugh about the imperfections and things like that. So it's really about how God takes the message and turns 'em into messages and takes the test and turns 'em into testimonies that we don't have to wait for things we can walk in our purpose.
We can walk in the purpose he has for us, the individual purpose he has for us, like . Wherever we find ourselves, not waiting for the perfect time because that, that's not gonna come. 'cause there is no such thing as perfect, except there is a perfect God. And so it was really about finding happiness and finding joy, true joy.
And it, it didn't have to wait. And I think that for the longest time, I was waiting for the perfect time and the perfect setting and the perfect, you know, like having everything in, in its place. And it's not like that, that's not, I don't think I would do anything if I waited.
Yeah, I'm the same way and I have three kids and if I'm trying to make our house perfect, I'm just gonna make myself crazy and make everybody else crazy. 'cause it's just not possible. When people are living and they're living their mess, it's something that you know, you have to work through and. It's such a similar analogy a lot for when it comes to health and wellness and when I'm talking with people about that.
'cause people wanna wait for that perfect scenario where they're gonna be able to eat every meal exactly like according to the plan and they're gonna work out five days a week. But life really is just so messy and you have to just embrace doing what you can when you can in the moment. So I think that that is such a good principle for us to all embrace.
And I really encourage everybody go check out the Art of a Messy House on Instagram, check out the podcast and the books. And as we close here, I'd love to ask our two questions we like to ask. Yes. At the end. And the first one is, what is a favorite book or podcast that you would recommend to people obviously, of course, besides your own, which we
Well now yours, I was actually thinking about this 'cause I grew up reading lots and lots of books. I always had a book in my hand and so this was really always a hard question and I was like, can I just say the Bible? 'cause right now that's really like the one I'm focused on. Um, you know, like reading the Bible.
But um, I was thinking of podcasts and so I do love some of the other. Podcast from, um, some of the women I met on Instagram as well. And, um, Katie RGAs, um, renewing Your Motherhood and Camille McIntyre's because she chose, and right now I'm actually, I'm doing, although I didn't start at the beginning of the year, I'm doing the Bible recap.
So right now, that is, I'm gonna say that's my favorite because that's what I'm in every morning. 'cause it's been given, it's like giving me a new way of studying the Bible. So I really, I like that.
Yeah, the Bible recap is awesome.
Hmm.
And so then the next question is, what advice would you give to your 25-year-old self?
Um, there's so much advice, but one of them is, you know, don't just talk to God. Listen, obey. He really does know best. , you know, but most of all, I would tell her she doesn't need to earn validation. And that, or she doesn't need to earn love. She doesn't need to earn her worth all of that. She already has.
That's not something we can achieve. That's something we can receive from God. That's something that everyone can receive from God, and that takes off such a pressure that we try to hold in this world and we don't need to do that. We already have that through Christ. And so the world will try to drain us and we'll get exhausted when we try to do seek for perfection or seek to, you know, be the best at everything when we don't need to be.
The Lord is the one who's guiding us. And so really it success is measured by that obedience to God and just being who he calls us to be and just rest in him, trust in him, and that is just such a burden and a weight lifted.
Well, Jen, thank you so much for all of the great wisdom that you shared with us today, and we pray a blessing over you and everything that you do,
Thank you.
Thank you for joining us for this episode of the Wholly Well Journey podcast. Please be sure to subscribe and you can also head over to whollywelljourney. com to check out the show notes and the whole podcast library. That's also where you'll find information about our health and wellness coaching, which you can participate in online from wherever you are in the world.
Just a reminder and disclaimer that this. Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice or professional counseling. Please be sure to consult your doctor before making any changes to your diet or exercise plan or starting to fast. If you're interested in more information about fasting and spiritual disciplines, check out danielfastjourney. com. Thanks for joining us on this journey to becoming wholly well.